ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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