So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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