Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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