My liver just broke up with me...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
