We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
