nutella sex= disaster
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize