yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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