I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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