I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's blow job season.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
