yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
