So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
