I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
