We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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