Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
