Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
