He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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