It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
