wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
