we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
