I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i dont even know how to be here
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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