he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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