She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
