No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
