So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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