I will die if light touches me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
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theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!