She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.