I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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