is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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