I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
