The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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