Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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