a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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