Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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