I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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