Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
