Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize