How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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