i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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