He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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