is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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