It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
