I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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