people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
