remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
