There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
