My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
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yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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