Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
