U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
