Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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