People with herpes should wear stickers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
