morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
