i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
