I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
