Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
