So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
