i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
