I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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