I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
