Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
pray to the hookup gods
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
