Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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