So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
