Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
